Valentine’s Day is less than a month away. Cupid is drawing back his bow and kisses are floating in the breeze. Let’s talk about love—love according to Dr. John Demartini. Demartini authored the book, Heart of Love: How to Go Beyond Fantasy to Find True Relationship Fulfillment. Learn ten myths, three laws, and the Demartini method. Our own Trina Becksted popped the questions, and here is what we learned.
In the book, you begin by busting relationship fantasies or myths. What are they and how can we avoid them?
When we step out of falsehoods, we open into something far more inspiring: true life, true relationships, and true love The myths are:
- A (new) relationship will make me happy.
- When I find my soul mate, I’ll feel complete.
- The right relationship will last forever.
- Once we get past these rough waters, it will be smooth sailing.
- A good relationship requires sacrifice.
- Great sex happens only at the beginning of a relationship.
- In the right relationship, I won’t have to work at it.
- If I’m not involved with someone, I’ll be lonely.
- Children complete a marriage.
- Opposites attract.
In the hit movie “The Secret,” you talked about The Law of Attraction. In Heart of Love, you talk about the laws of relationships. What are they?
The three laws of relating are the backbone of this book, here they are in a nutshell.
The Law of Conservation: If you remember chemistry from high school, you’re already familiar with this law, which states that energy can’t be created or destroyed but can change its form. Put simply nothing’s missing, and nothing’s gained or lost. Everything remains. Energy is. Love is.
The Law of Polarity: If we move on to physics class, we learn light behaves in an interesting way, depending on the kind of experiment you do. Sometimes it displays particle-like behavior, and sometimes it acts like a wave. So is it one or the other? It’s both. Physicists refer to the wave nature of particles and the particle nature of waves when they attempt to describe the nested duality of the nature of light.
The Law of Equilibrium: Newton revealed that any action has an equal and opposite reaction; forces come in pairs, he said. You can observe a similar phenomenon in chemical reactions. And in life, you’ve probably noticed that what goes around comes around. Things have an inherent balance. In this lesson, you learn that if you look in the moment, and even over vast spans of time, you see great order. The universe maintains equilibrium and synchronicity.
In the book, you write that values drive relationships. What do you mean by this?
If you look at the way someone spends their time, their money, etc. their values are revealed. The only reasonable expectation you can have of people is that they will live according to these values.
Can we have fulfilling relationships with people who don’t share our values?
Yes, you can have fulfilling relationships with anyone (yes, anyone) when you link your values with theirs. We all want to be loved for who we are. Wisdom is honoring other people’s value systems, knowing they’re going to live by them no matter what, and learning to truly love and appreciate them just as they are.
In the book, you demonstrate how to use The Demartini Method for relationship fulfillment. What is this?
It introduces you to the divine perfection of your universe. You learn to come to love your disowned parts, integrating your own light and shadow natures, balance lopsided emotional perceptions, reconcile conflict, and more. It’s a tall promise, but I’ve done it time and time again with people in my workshops throughout the world. You’ll list each trait that you strongly like and dislike in another person—both perceived positives and negatives—then you’ll neutralize your emotional reaction to them by seeing how you have the exact same traits in equal proportion. Yes, equal proportion.
What does it mean to “neutralize emotions” and why would we want to do that?
It’s about realizing that nothing is missing. It may be in a different area of life than someone else’s, but you always have it. It’s about realizing that you have powers in areas of your life.
How can people learn more about relationship fulfillment?
I teach a two-day seminar called The Breakthrough Experience, where we use The Demartini Method to neutralize any highly-charged event or person in your life. We use this proven method to help participants achieve fulfilling relationships, careers, and more. Locate upcoming workshops on my website, www.drdemartini.com.
Take time to love yourself and become the person who will attract the relationship you desire. Align your actions with your values. Learn to lead with your best self. Share the love.
February 14 is Valentine's Day and World Sound Healing Day. Join thousands throughout the planet on February 14, 2019 at 12 noon (your local time ) as we sound forth for 5 minutes with an "AH" projected with the energy of compassion and love. Send a sonic valentine to Gaia, our Mother Earth and change Global Consciousness! We heal our planet and we heal ourselves. We heal ourselves and we heal our planet.